I was happy to finally be landing at my home airport yesterday after a short but exhausting business trip, this time to the West Coast for another one-day client event that meant tacking on two additional days just for travel.
I’ve got the science behind prepping for time away from home down pretty well – contact the cat sitter, get the suitcase out of the attic the night before, water all plants.
The part that’s missing and that still gives me pangs, is being able to text my husband when I’ve arrived, the call from my hotel room to say how the event went, and most importantly, texting him from the plane once I’ve landed back at our airport.
Once we had taxied to the gate last night, the gentleman in the seat next to me whipped out his cell phone to call his wife or partner, assuring her he’d be home within the hour.
I’m lucky in that some of my friends and my sister-in-law track my travel and always check in with me during my trips. I super appreciate it, but feel James’ loss very keenly still. It sounds trite but is so true, that it’s the little things you miss the most once you’ve lost your spouse or partner. Relationships are woven together with the fabric of small acts and patterns of behavior that bind you together with a comfortable cadence that unknowingly make up your days.
“When fears are grounded, dreams take flight.” Anon
I went to get another psychic reading recently, and this one had given me pause. James came through and some of the observations were too spot-on to brush off as a charlatan’s trickery. He knew my computer had died (it had three weeks prior), that my lawnmower had issues (I had just retrieved it from the shop).
“He’s looking out for you still,” the psychic assured me.
I’m trying to allow myself to hold onto that thought and not let my rational mind discount it. If it’s true, then I don’t need a cell phone to let the most important person in my life know when I’m at the gate. He knows before I do.